Well shit. Looks like the jig is up, Black and Latino guys!
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
Yes. And did you know that White women suffrage leaders demonized Black people and other PoC in order to get their right to vote?
"It is not fair that a plantation Negro who can neither read or write should be entrusted with the ballot." -Frances E. Willard, president of the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union.
"In Colorado… 6,666 men vote "Yes." Now, I am going to describe the men who voted "Yes." They were native-born men, temperance men, cultivated, broad, generous, just men, men who think. On the other hand, 16,007 voted "No." Now, I am going to describe that class of voters. In the southern part of that State are Mexicans, who speak the Spanish language… . The vast population of Colorado is made up of that class of people. I was sent out to speak in a voting precinct having 200 voters; 150 of those voters were Mexican greasers, 40 of them foreign-born citizens, and just 10 of them were born in this country; and I was supposed to be competent to convert those men to let me have so much right in this Government as they had.” -Susan B. Anthony
Go on and look up your white fem faves. They oppressed other groups in order to get up from their oppression. Stepping on the backs of PoC in order to stand up. And i’m supposed to be sympathetic to your “plight?!” Like dude, you mad at me for the patriarchy that oppressed your people and mine? Get real.
Oh! And did you know that White women were freed from slavery before Black… Oh….. wait…….
And if we’re talking about Blacks and “voting rights” did ya know that it was damn hella hard for Blacks to vote even when they got the right? Ignoring the expensive polling taxes and the rallies of Whites who threatened and attacked Blacks who attempted to vote… did you know that Blacks were disproportionately administered (among poor whites and other poc) impossible literacy tests in order to get this “vote”?
Here is a sample of this simple and easy test. 10 minutes. Get NOTHING wrong. Go go!
Times up. How was it? Easy I bet. Each question made at a total 5th grad level so I’m sure you got them all right. But oops, doesn’t matter. As I am the one correcting your test I decide if you failed or not even if you, somehow, managed to get all of these correct in the 10 minutes provided to you, Negro.
Could also go into how racist laws put up to keep predominately Black people from voting, which were outlawed to protect Black voters, are now being allowed again so they can oppress them once more…could go into all that… but that would be a longer post.
In the meantime
Part of the rhetoric white feminists used to support the 19th amendment was the idea that they’d vote in line with their white husbands thereby consolidating white supremacy. Due to the idea that Black men were barbarians and irrational and were going to ruin the country by being able to vote.
And in reality, Black people in mass couldn’t really vote till the Civil Rights Act and even today voter suppression attacks POC, but specifically African Americans. Whereas white women have never had an issue voting after the 19th amendment. So in actuality they got the vote first. And used their vote to oppress Black women and men.
sorry but children younger than her in the middle east get blown up by drones purely because of their proximity to suspected terrorists, i don’t really care about a dutch teenager getting arrested for sending a “joke” threatening tweet to an airline while claiming to be a member of al qaeda because she thought her obvious positions of privilege would protect her from any and all consequences
Power Structure of Oppression
Bent over right now just thinking about it.
lmao i hate yall
*looks over my shoulder* what I did
i support this movement ^^^^
I mean, you asked nicely and shit.